Last days

I will be mostly offline for the next few days.

I don’t really know what to write here. Mom does not have long to live and I’ve probably heard my last communication from her. She took a turn for the worst last night.

Please go hug someone you love. Just in case.

Instead of LJ condolences or *hugs* or whatever, please tell me a happy story. Something real and happy from your life.

60 thoughts on “Last days”

  1. My classes this quarter are amazing. My writing class is really challenging me and pushing me to develop skills that I’ve struggled with before now. Our in-class assignment was to tell a full story in 30 words or less, using no more than 4 adjectives, and at least 4 verbs. Sadly, I don’t have the story with me right now, or I’d post it. It cracked the entire class up. One of the great sadnesses in my life is that I’m not an inherently funny person, so those few times I do make people laugh make me really, really happy.
    Our assignment this week is to write about food as a ritual in our lives. I’m going to revamp the mango post and use it.

    In one of my other classes I read an essay (The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde) that really moved me. I’ll likely post it later.

    School is making me really happy.

    Also, there are amazing, wonderful people in my life, and I am overwhelmingly grateful. Love you tons.

  2. When I was at the HP Lovecraft film festival the weekend before last, I had a great time, seeing movies ranging in quality from ‘really good’ to ‘um, terrible’. But the best part of the weekend wasn’t the movies, or even seeing people I see only once or twice a year.

    It was the sense of being with My People. It’s something people talk about a lot, their tribe/their clan/their family. I almost never have that feeling. There is always something going on that keeps me feeling like an Outsider at nearly every function. But at one point during HPLfest, I looked around the room and realized that, yes, I was with My People.

  3. In our new home, the sun shines in the patio door all afternoon. The other day, all three of our cats were sleeping in the sun, and I stretched out on the floor and joined them. I awoke an hour later, feeling better than I’d felt in a month. I think I need to copy my cats more often. 😉

  4. I spent a glorious long weekend with . Seeing MA through her eyes made me appreciate being here a little more, and, as always, I felt so loved and inspired by her company. We spent a lot of time driving through ridiculously gorgeous fall foliage, listening to music, and people watching.

  5. As you probably know, Our cousins on our Dad’s side have always been a bit dorky or frat boy. Either way we’ve always felt a bit cooler than them.

    One Christmas party Jason and I were in the backroom setting up for the gift exchange in which you take a number and then get to pick a present in that order. We started with the usual “1” “5 ” 27″ before taking a turn for the worst with “Square Root of 52” and 3.145.

    We we laughed and then Jason said “And WE’RE the cool ones!?!”

  6. and I are heading out to Disneyland this weekend to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary! hooray! Nothing like feeling like you are 6 years old again even for just one day 🙂 It will be Jesse’s first time to California so he’s super excited. Ya Disneyland may be the capitol of Evil…but hey they sure do put on a fun theme park :p

    In other news: I give you cowbell.

  7. Jason told me he was just driving up there, but didn’t give details. Michael, Jill, and 2 people from the fencing Academy just returned from the Texas Ren Faire. We had a lovely time, full of shenangans and tomfoolery, and freerange drinking (vs being penned up in a beer garden). My Mum and stepdad stayed up here an extra week to babysit the furry granddaughters. I know so many diverse, wonderful friends, have Michael as a boyfriend/partner/whatever, and have had many wonderful trips and experiences. I am happy that I get to laugh a lot.

  8. I bought baby socks the other day, and I brought them home and showed Chris and we went “awwww!” together. When we spoon up for bed he sleeps with his hand on my belly now, then one of our cats ends up curled up around my belly to be near his hand.

  9. I have a wonderful wife who loves and adores me.
    I have a house that is in no danger of going away.
    I have a great job that might frustrate me, but gives me a chance to shine. And that’s thanks to you. 🙂

  10. Last weekend as I was standing on the side of the Nisqually river
    fishing. I had the greatest view of the sunlight streaming through
    the trees with just a hint of fog still hanging on the river. I thought
    that it was one of the most beautiful views i have seen in a long time.

  11. I got my new kitchen appliances last night! This was big news for me because we haven’t had a kitchen for a week. I love cooking! My new fridge and oven are BEAUTIFUL and NEW!

    Also, I am in love. With a man (not the kitchen appliances, even though they’re great).

    I feel lucky.

  12. Last month when Douglas and I were in Vegas we went on the New York New York roller coaster. Very few things make me bounce, and giggle, and get in touch with the child in me like roller coasters do.
    It was wonderful to see and feel Douglas’ enjoyment of me being bouncy and giggly, and to ride the roller coaster, twisting and turning and going upside down.
    I bounced and skipped after on the walk to the monorail.

  13. I have a fun job, with great people. It keeps the bills paid, covers tuition, and lets me be sarcastic for a living.

    I have a wonderful family, and got to see them all last weekend.

    I’m returning to classes in January, and will be a nurse, starting out in a ‘real’ career in a few short years.

    I’m the happiest I’ve been in about a decade.

  14. Even though my dog is completely BATS, she still makes me smile everyday.

    The second we come home from being out, she runs to find the nearest stuffed toy, grabs it, gets all up in our grills wagging her tail vigorously, and tries to shove the toy into our hands so we can play. It’s adorable, and her unconditional love for us is incredibly endearing.

  15. i went for a walk to the Downtown library, probably the first year i lived in the city. i remember being awed by how huge the interior was, and how good it was to be in a library in Seattle. to be in Seattle.

    it was essentially a good day. a day that i walked into downtown and back home again, enjoying the sights and looking up at the sky, the tall buildings, the people around me, everything.

    before returning home, i stopped at Minnie’s for coffee. i think this was back before the smoking ban so i was probably puffing away, as well. just enjoying being alive and the ability to do so.

    randomly, some guy tapped on the glass of the window – i half pretended not to see him then raised my eyebrow and watched as he proceeded to gesture at something in his hand, then to put it in the crook of a tree branch, wave, and disappear.

    a few cautious minutes later where i sat and waited to see if something weirder might happen, then i went out to retrieve the item from the branches. it turned out to be a note.

    essentially, he wrote about watching me enter the library, and how good it was to see someone looking up with awe and wonder. he asked if i’d noticed bubbles floating in the air, that seeing them had made him giggle with delight. either someone was blowing some and i missed it or the guy was high, who knows. the note said that he was travelling the country and enjoying his time in Seattle.

    he didn’t leave any contact information, and just scribbled his signature. but that wasn’t the point of the note anyway. it was just his way of appreciating the moment and being observant of the world.

  16. Tomorrow is my ninth wedding anniversary.

    Every time I pet my not-so-feral-any more cat, or he rubs his face on my hand, or I see him curled up with the other cats, I think of the people who said he was unadoptable and I am so proud of him.

    It’s a beautiful October.

  17. The kiddo turned 14 the end of last month and he’s growing by leaps and bounds. He’s dang near as tall as me and is starting to stabalize out. He’s been reading a ton lately- biographies from WW2 vets and political figures. At any given moment he’s as likely to run and be a kid as argue politics and philosophy with you.

  18. This story makes me so incredibly happy.

    Makes me want to go leave random love notes to the world in hopes that someone finds them when it will mean something and will become a story for years to come.

    Thank you for sharing this!

  19. so there was this time when Kim and i came up to visit you and we were driving around with Journey blasting and it made me laugh hysterically. that snippet in time still makes me smile when i think about it.

    that whole weekend spent with you and Kim was great. i think that was probably the best quality time i’ve been able to spend with you in a long time, and i’ve missed it.

    today i’m grateful for my new job that is slowly getting awesomer (today i realized that i no longer have someone looking over my shoulder when i clock in and out for lunch). i’m grateful for my amazing boyfriend who astounds me with his sweetness and awesomeness daily. i’m grateful for my dog who loves me even tho i blame my farts on her. i’m grateful for my cat who is always willing to snuggle. my mom, who is always there when i need her. i’m grateful for sweet babies that i can hold once in a while. i’m grateful for you as a friend, and i wish i could hug you right now.

  20. at the time this happened, i was pretty creeped out, but now i rather treasure the memory.

    sometimes a story like that is all that can redeem the human race 😉

    of course, my own imperfection is highlighted by omitting a word in the subject line, haha.

    i think that leaving notes around would be a wonderful thing to do. i’ve heard stories in a few places of people who found one, or put one out because they found one.

  21. It’s a wonderful feeling when you are with your people. I don’t get that sense much so I treasure it when I do.

    Thank you.

  22. Kaia is doing amazingly well in school. She’s bright, social, and intuitive; in a word, perfect.

    I am doing well in school, though it is a challenge to balance work, school, and family all at once. I still wake up every afternoon and am excited by those challenges. I am happy and optimistic for my future, and for once, I feel that my real, true, deepest goals are achievable.

    I love my friends, though I don’t see them often enough. I am glad to have the internet, myspace, livejournal, whatever.. in which I at least have the opportunity to peak in on them when I have the chance.

    I’ve always admired your generosity with your friends, and your quiet strength.

    I hugged my dog, tightly, and when I see Kaia this weekend, I will be especially sure to let her know how much I love her.

  23. Are you saying loving kitchen appliances is wrong? If that’s wrong then I don’t want to be right.

    Thank you.

  24. When I was a little girl, growing up in the forests at the base of Mt. Rainier, I spent a lot of time by myself, just wandering in the woods. I’d make up stories to entertain myself, create entire worlds, countries, people, ruling systems, story lines and back stories that would make most soap opera writers weep with envy. But my favourite place to be was a small glen that was simply covered with trilliums. They would start to bloom and it would be a sea of white. And then slowly, over time, they would start to change colour. Purple would creep into the blooms until one day I’d show up, and it would be a sea of purple.

    And every time I went there, I didn’t need to do anything, I didn’t need to tell myself stories or create anything. I would just sit and look and be.

    This picture reminds me a lot of that glen:


  25. Any way you want it

    thats the way you need it

    Anyway you want it

    She loves to laugh

    she loves to sing

    she does everything

    she loves to move

    she loves to groove

    she loves a lot of things

    All night

    ALl night

    oo everynight

    so hold tight

    hold tight

    ooo baby hold tight

    any way you want it

    thats the way you need it

    any way you want it

    thats the way you need it

    any way you want it

    i was alone i never knew

    whut love could do

    then we tocuhed

    and we sang

    about the lovley things

    Oooh all night

    all night

    oh everynight

    so hold tight

    hold tight

    oo baby hold tight

    she said anyway you want it

    thats the way you need it

    she said oooooo oooooooo


  26. Always and any time.

    I’ll send ya one per day if you want.

    My thoughts are with you.


  27. Two of our cats follow our hands everywhere, I’m guessing because that’s where the pets come from?

  28. School’s pretty easy so far. A lot of fun, too. I know that won’t last much longer, but I’m enjoying it so far.

    My kitties are still cute. They love to crowd me out of my pillow.

    I’m looking forward to my thirties.

    I have some wonderful friends.

  29. I am genuinely happy in my career and my choice to go to full time self employment. I have a lot to learn on the business aspect, but I am actually making it. I am finally doing what I love. I have waiting a very long time for this and it is all paying off. Things are finally going well.

  30. I posted another story in my lj. I saw this and went back and edited it in.

    Also, I have fond memories of us making pie. I was just thinking that I want to do that again with you.

    Kaia kicks ass. She had a doctor’s appointment recently and is growing perfectly and is very healthy.

    You kick ass!

  31. oh man. now i’m going to be forced to listen to journey on my way to work this morning.

    damn you.

  32. When I was 16, my dad took me to the store and bought me ‘grownup’ platform shoes, and a matching purse. Then he took me to a fancy italian restaurant and told me all of the reasons why I was special to him and why he believed in me.

    I never knew, until recently, that he did this for all of us kids (special gift, speical dinner, special words, and tailored to each of us kids) That made me feel so good about my dad. He wasn’t perfect, but he loved us all and showed us in his way.

  33. I’ve never had a cat before. But this year, I’ve been given “Daddy” status to a precocious and portly tortie named Frances. She is every bit as playful, irritable, whiney, frustrating, and full of beans as any human toddler. I love her (I also love her mama too).

  34. I’m working two part time jobs, going to school full time and am broke as a joke, but I’m happier than I have been in a very long time. I’m striving for a career I feel passionately about and Bill is super supportive of me. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much true love and support from a significant other in my life and it is tremendously helpful. Lots of love to you, Phil.

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